As and when

(the emo tree)

there's a tree outside my IAP tutorial room
i've been staring at it for quite some time
it's different among it's kind somehow
coz it has no leaves..
it has skinny branches and it stands quite far apart from the rest of the trees.
staring at at makes me feel so sad
which triggers me thinking one month ago this day i was at ishikawa.
the day when my camera memory card spoiled.
the day when i saw my first firework oversea.
with papa mama hikaru we drove to the beach.
we were shortly accompanied by jingyi , her host yuka and 2 dogs (i forgot their names)
yes i was screaming alone at the beach with no ashamed like a typical Singaporean
shameless or what sia
i miss the time we spend together
even the hajiban ramen, i regretted so much for not trying it.
the days i spend sitting behind the house car. with someone beside to lean on.
maybe it's because i never really have a family car
or maybe it's been like donkey years i've gone for a simple family trip
with a mom and dad sitting on the front sit. (quite impossible)
and my bro and me at the back.
or for once we sit peacefully at the dinning table eating home cook meal together.
that we say oyasumi before we sleep and ohayo when we are awake.
maybe that's why
as and when
when i'm free
i'll miss my host family so much
(: