i want myself back

it's been long i take picture with my dear. bright smiles

it was never bout i have diploma plus, i have union, i have project nor i need to have a space
it's always been me
i refuse to to use my braincells
i stop myself from thinking my future outcome
coz im scared
to know that i made a wrong decision that leads me to nowhere
i can't see any fun out there anymore except for some occasional jokes my friends crack
i used to love competing for the best result but now i'm ok with a just pass
i use to love traveling but i suddenly get so turn down for this year LTC
i don't know what i want
i forget what's my aim
i got nothing to look forward too
i am so screwed up!
i been hiding away from this fact but seriously
i SCREWED UP my life!

and now i shall not think this way anymore
i must have a aim
my aim now is to do well in my exams, so that i can get into uni, i don't care if uni is difficult to study or the environment sucks or whatever shit, i will get a degree and i will get a good job, i will gain back my confidence, i will be respected, i will eventually earned enough money to enjoy life and retire early, i will lead a happy life and not work for a happy life no more!!!

so now i will study my exam so i will never regret later
everything...
must...
start...
NOW!

thank god for IAP term 2 has ended and so do audit and claw project and my going-to-finish diploma plus
all the best to me and my many dearest friends and family
i love you all
and amen